"Why is my friend’s child good at everything? One of these questions was asked during a therapy session. At first glance, this might seem like a typical question, but in reality, it carries a deeper meaning. It reflects a sense of insecurity and low self-esteem, stemming from constantly being compared to others, which creates emotional scars.

When parents frequently compare their children to others, it may stem from their own experiences or well-meaning intentions to encourage their child to grow, overcome obstacles, and improve behavior. As a result, parents inadvertently project their expectations onto their children by comparing them to others’ achievements. These words, coming from someone as close as a parent, can deeply affect a child’s emotional well-being, eroding their self-confidence and possibly leaving emotional wounds greater than those caused by others.

The Impact on Children Who Are Frequently Compared:

Lack of Self-Esteem
Children will begin to feel bad about themselves, dissatisfied with who they are, and may struggle to see or value themselves (Low self-esteem). Constantly comparing themselves to others, they will find it hard to feel proud of who they are, making it difficult to find happiness or satisfaction in life.

Constant Pressure and Competition
Children may feel anxious about their abilities and face immense pressure, feeling as though they have burdens and expectations placed on them. They may constantly compete to be the best, believing they must outperform others to earn approval. This leads to stress, and eventually, mental health issues can arise.

Avoidance of Social Situations
Children may avoid going out or spending time with their parents because they want to escape situations where they feel embarrassed or fear being judged or ridiculed. Frequently being compared can make them withdraw, becoming introverted and detached from social circles.

Aggressive and Defiant Behavior
When children try to show themselves or do more to gain acceptance but continue to be compared, they may feel anger and frustration. This can lead to a loss of emotional control, causing them to react strongly. If this doesn’t yield results, they may exhibit rebellious behavior, doing the opposite of what their parents want, as a way of rejecting the emotional pain they feel inside.

For parents who have done or are doing this, and have noticed the negative consequences of comparing their children to others, it may be helpful to stop comparing. Instead, focus on offering praise and encouragement. This will help heal emotional wounds, reduce the creation of new ones, and foster a positive self-image for your child."